Granted, seeking and securing happiness for one or the other or both are not the only reasons two people come together in a close walk with each other. But I accept the pursuit of happiness as the dominant goal of most of humanity and make no apology for offering thoughts that push in that direction.
End of Inside cover

If you suspect you are experiencing a heart attack or stroke, the chapter entitled “Medical” (to view, click here) offers immediate information. You may wish to write there emergency telephone numbers, etc., for your own use.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Medical: What you need to know about stroke and heart attack emergencies. To view click here
Introduction: Why I put together this book
Love: What it means; marriage; divorce; reflections
Communication is more than sounds pouring from your mouth.
Disagreements don’t need to rock the boat.
Conflict Resolution: May be tough; sometimes it makes sense to seek a third party.
Substance abuse: You already know.
Physical Bases for heart attack & stroke; blood pressure; sex.
Handling stress: It doesn't need to kill you: specific suggestions
Massage can be an integral part of your closeness; here’s the How To
Pleasuring: What you do for and to each other; includes specific suggestions
Sexual delights: If you’re not serious, pass up this chapter; it's highly specific.
Exercise, Warm Ups: Suggestions for a complete regimen
Diet: You are indeed what you eat: emphasis on heart and blood pressure concerns.
Autobiography: Background for why I have responded as I have.

Excerpts from the

This is an adult book. It is intended to suggest ways to strengthen your committed relationship and to provide information on improving your longevity. . . . a personal look at life and love as I have experienced them. . . . context is important to motivating you to consider what I offer here.

I started this book many years ago, even before my marriage ended. At that time I was concerned with the pressures that cause divisions within the marital union. My then-wife and I had, I had thought, an agreeable marriage that afforded us both a reasonable measure of fulfillment and happiness. But it turned out I was naive; she professed that she had for years been unhappy, and the fact that we had taken two or three monthly mini-vacations for the past couple years, as well as undertaken ballroom and square dancing at her request, were not enough to overcome her unhappiness. For a time we lived separately, undertook marriage counseling; we later moved into a shared apartment. And it was my hope at that time to share the results of our efforts to find marital peace. [Divorce followed anyway.]

. . . I sense an urgency in offering this contribution to stress-free, healthy living. Now is the time lest health rob me of the opportunity. . . .

The organization of the book is happenchance; you might prefer to think of it as random. There is no intent to present something that you will read from beginning to end; more likely one section will seem appropriate now and another at some other time (although the chapters on Pleasuring and Sexual Delights offer something of a continuum). It is my expectation nothing will prove trivial and unworthy of your time and attention. . . .

I have heard it said that Evolution, as a matter of survival of the best adapted, has produced our bodily design with the attributes and peculiarities best suited to our niche in Nature. . . . If any individual wishes to sustain his life beyond the allotted interval dictated by Evolution and maintain his faculties well enough to be active and productive into what is now ripe old age, he must take care to protect -- nurture -- the parts of his body that seem necessary to continued functioning. . . .

That heart attack was brought on by the stress produced by surging emotion in the wake of collapse in efforts to restore a lost love. Not that that was the whole cause; my genes include a weakness and no doubt the process was well under way. . . .

But I am not anxious to experience that peace [of death] permanently, to abandon life. Nor do I feel a desperation for life to continue. I had undertaken this book after separation from my wife of 30 years and failed efforts at reconciliation. It was my hope then, as it is my hope now, that it can help someone order his life to preclude these kinds of stresses and the resulting threat to happiness or life itself. . . .

According to medical literature, stress is one of the most prevalent causes of the build-up of plaque in our arteries. [And this book is intended to help others avoid stresses.]

----------End of excerpts from the Introduction.----------

For more on the stress connection, click here.

This book is now available at orders@llumina.com
For additional information, visit the URL http://www.llumia.com/store/lovetolive.htm For sources that help you pursue topics in this book, click here.
Should you wish to contact me via e-mail, click here.
For information on products to follow up suggestions in the book, including enriching your sex life, visit http://www.rationallink.org/pers/sex.htm.

.

Thoughts and information added since publication of the book:

In the Introduction there is a description of what I take as a momentary taste of death. One aspect of that experience is that, unlike sleep, where you are unaware of bodily and mental sensations, I was fully aware of the peace that overtook me. I correlate this with the out-of-body experience described in my odyssey in that both events are at the boundary between the Physical Realm and the Spirit Realm.

In the Chapter dealing with Physical Bases, starting in the middle of Page 49, I would add: (2008) Half of all heart attack victims have normal cholesterol and many have no risk factors. In a study of the effects of inflammation, some 18000 people with normal cholesterol and no known heart disease but high levels of inflammation (as measured by CRP -- C reactive protein) were divided into two groups, one assigned to take a placebo while the other took a cholesterol-lowering statin having anti-inflammatory effects. Of the 8901 taking the placebo 132 suffered heart attack or stroke compared with 64 in the statin-taking group although in each group 12 died of heart attack or stroke. During the trial those on statins experienced a 37% reduction in CRP as well as notably lower LDL cholesterol. Due to limitations in the study, it is uncertain if a drug that targets inflammation, such as aspirin, would have worked as well. (It should be noted that the study was funded by the manufacturer of the statin drug that was used.) Statins are considered to be safe, but they do have side effects such a muscle pain or deterioration and, rarely, kidney malfunction; during the study the statin group developed diabetes at a higher rate than those taking placebos.