Love to Live and Live to Love:
(Copyrighted by Ken Wear, Marietta, GA, 2002. All rights reserved.)
I have a few copies available for immediate shipment.

is finally available in print form from For further information, the URL is The book is described more fully below in the Table of Contents and excerpts from the Introduction.
Information and comment added since publication may be read by clicking here.
What readers are saying: click here.
For Tips and related products suggested by the book click here.
If you are addicted or a former addict and seek help, click here and click as shown on Page 1.

If you suspect you are experiencing a heart attack or stroke, the chapter entitled “Medical” (to view, click here) offers immediate information. You may wish to write there emergency telephone numbers, etc., for your own use.


Medical: What you need to know about stroke and heart attack emergencies. To view click here
Introduction: Why I put together this book
Love: Commitment, marriage, divorce, fidelity; personal observations and reflections
Communication is more than sounds pouring from your mouth. Here are specific suggestions to help you improve the effectiveness of your communications as well as affirmations for personal attitude and for mutual commitment.
Disagreements may be a source of growth; they don’t need to rock the boat; here are some of the techniques you can use. "Only God can give you credit for the angry words you did not speak."
Conflict Resolution may be tough; someone must yield; sometimes it makes sense to seek a third party.
Substance abuse: If you are or were involved, you already know.*
Physical Bases for heart attack & stroke, blood pressure, sex, cholesterol includes information to help you understand your body, its processes, and how you affect them.
Handling stress: There are many things you can do to reduce stress; it doesn't need to kill; here are specific suggestions for reducing stress.
Massage reduces stress; it can be an integral part of your closeness; here’s the How To in enough detail for you to use.
Pleasuring: What you do for and to each other; includes specific non-sexual and sexual suggestions
Sexual delights: You can re-ignite a dormant love life or enhance an active love life. If you’re not serious, pass up this chapter; it's highly specific.
Exercise, Warm Ups: Suggestions for a complete regimen
Diet and foods with emphasis on heart and blood pressure concerns. Facts are facts!
It cannot be in your body unless you have taken steps to put it there.
Autobiography: My story and background for why I have responded as I have.
*To seek help with an addiction, click here; or for support in recovery, click here.

Excerpts from two chapters from the book are presented at this web site: emergency medical information regarding heart attack and stroke (click here and information to help you understand the interplay of body and such as cholesterol (click here).

Excerpts from the


This is an adult book. It is intended to suggest ways to strengthen your committed relationship and to provide information on improving your longevity. . . . a personal look at life and love as I have experienced them. . . . context is important to motivating you to consider what I offer here.

I started this book many years ago, even before my marriage ended. At that time I was concerned with the pressures that cause divisions within the marital union. My then-wife and I had, I had thought, an agreeable marriage that afforded us both a reasonable measure of fulfillment and happiness. But it turned out I was naive; she professed that she had for years been unhappy, and the fact that we had taken two or three monthly mini-vacations for the past couple years, as well as undertaken ballroom and square dancing at her request, were not enough to overcome her unhappiness. For a time we lived separately, undertook marriage counseling; we later moved into a shared apartment. And it was my hope at that time to share the results of our efforts to find marital peace. [Divorce followed anyway.]

. . . I sense an urgency in offering this contribution to stress-free, healthy living. Now is the time lest health rob me of the opportunity. . . .

The organization of the book is happenchance; you might prefer to think of it as random. There is no intent to present something that you will read from beginning to end; more likely one section will seem appropriate now and another at some other time (although the chapters on Pleasuring and Sexual Delights offer something of a continuum). It is my expectation nothing will prove trivial and unworthy of your time and attention. . . .

I have heard it said that Evolution, as a matter of survival of the best adapted, has produced our bodily design with the attributes and peculiarities best suited to our niche in Nature. . . . If any individual wishes to sustain his life beyond the allotted interval dictated by Evolution and maintain his faculties well enough to be active and productive into what is now ripe old age, he must take care to protect -- nurture -- the parts of his body that seem necessary to continued functioning. . . .

That heart attack was brought on by the stress produced by surging emotion in the wake of collapse in efforts to restore a lost love. Not that that was the whole cause; my genes include a weakness and no doubt the process was well under way. . . .

But I am not anxious to experience that peace [of death] permanently, to abandon life. Nor do I feel a desperation for life to continue. I had undertaken this book after separation from my wife of 30 years and failed efforts at reconciliation. It was my hope then, as it is my hope now, that it can help someone order his life to preclude these kinds of stresses and the resulting threat to happiness or life itself. . . .

According to medical literature, stress is one of the most prevalent causes of the build-up of plaque in our arteries. [And this book is intended to help others avoid stresses.]

----------End of excerpts from the Introduction.----------

For more on the stress connection, click here. Your BACK button will return you here.

I have also included at this web site information the physical bases for heart health, heart attack, stroke and diabetes to give you additional vital information. You may access that by clicking here.

This book is now available at
For additional information, visit the URL To view the contents of Ken Wear's Web Site, click here.
Should you wish to contact me via e-mail, click here.


What readers are saying about Love to Live . . .

Edited, of course, to limit duplications

An acquaintance, upon seeing a pre-publication copy and reading only the back cover, commented "I am going to have to have one of these."

A retreat of Red Hat Society members had a copy. Feedback to me was: "Ladies of -- (deleted, of course) -- have just given Love to Live and Live to Love their stamp of approval! Everyone is reading the book and has their own page!

"Four chapters into the book, I understand why I'm three-times divorced."

"Wow! From a boring love life to -- Whoopee!"

"You're too limited on foods and cholesterol. This kind of information is just not available. I want to eat healthy, but, besides ads, where can I turn?"

Book review: "Written by a guy who's been there, Ken covers the gamut from recognizing and dealing with a heart attack or stroke to making lifestyle changes to remove the personal stresses that can lead to such calamities. The latter includes massage techniques and improving sexual intimacy along with suggestions regarding exercise and diet. Ken's own life experiences contributed greatly to the knowledge he shares in this book, which includes his heart attack following the breakdown of a 30-year marriage. . . ." .

Information and comment added since publication of the book:

In the Introduction there is a description of what I take as a momentary taste of death. One aspect of that experience is that, unlike sleep, where you are unaware of bodily and mental sensations, I was fully aware of the peace that overtook me. I correlate this with the out-of-body experience described in my Odyssey in that both events are at the boundary between the Physical Realm and the Spirit Realm.

In the Chapter dealing with Physical Bases, starting in the middle of Page 49, I would add: (2008) Half of all heart attack victims have normal cholesterol and many have no risk factors. In a study of the effects of inflammation, some 18000 people with normal cholesterol and no known heart disease but high levels of inflammation (as measured by CRP -- C-reactive protein) were divided into two groups, one assigned to take a placebo while the other took a cholesterol-lowering statin having anti-inflammatory effects. Of the 8901 taking the placebo 132 suffered heart attack or stroke compared with 64 in the statin-taking group although in each group 12 died of heart attack or stroke. During the trial those on statins experienced a 37% reduction in CRP as well as notably lower LDL cholesterol. Due to limitations in the study, it is uncertain if a drug that targets inflammation, such as aspirin, would have worked as well. (It should be noted that the study was funded by the manufacturer of the statin drug that was used.) Statins are considered to be safe, but they do have side effects such a muscle pain or deterioration and, rarely, kidney malfunction; during the study the statin group developed diabetes at a higher rate than those taking placebos.

On Page 52, the paragraph started "Normal pH of blood": Substitute this:
Normal pH of blood is 7.4 (actually 7.35-7.45), slightly alkaline. Throughout the body pH is crucial in exchanges between blood and tissues, so crucial that a decrease to 7.38 kicks into action processes that help maintain pH: releasing enzymes from the liver and pancreas, or altering the proportion of carbon-dioxide-producing bicarbonate and carbonic acid, or breaking down muscle and bone tissue to release the minerals needed for pH maintenance. Note loss of bone tissue if needed to maintain pH.

On Page 56, insert, before the section labelled "HEART", a section headed "LYMPH": No less important than blood, lymph is similar to blood plasma but carries a different set of products; while it has a circulatory system it has no pump to urge the fluid through that system. Lymph includes most of the antibodies used by the body’s immune system. Circulation is forced by muscular contractions, so it seems odd that standard prescription for disease is rest, where lymph (and thus antibody) circulation is suppressed due to lack of muscular activity.

Inserting after the first paragraph on Page 69: I have suggested that effort to reduce cholesterol in the blood may mask the diagnostic value of measurement of cholesterol. What measurements, then, can be of value? To the extent that inflammation is a major culprit in the initiation, build-up and disruption of plaque, measurement of CRP may be crucial. I have read that the body, in its regular maintenance, replaces cells (yes, even bone) about every seven years, which means that cells die and fragments of their dissolution are a constituent of blood. Perhaps it is the work load of dealing with these fragments that keeps our immune systems active so they are ready to deal with new sources of inflammation. My thought here is that your physician, when faced with an unsatisfactory cholesterol reading, should concentrate on identifying sources of inflammation, including especially chronic inflammation. The more appropriate target for medical intervention is, rather than reduction of cholesterol, reduction of chronic inflammations.

Added December 2008: I have had my personal "a-ha!" moment in recognizing that my series of sweating incidents recently indicate renewed heart involvement -- symptom #3. And, due to the timeliness of information in the book, I am undertaking to place a copy of the book in every library and branch library -- or anywhere else it can be of value -- in the country. If you can assist in this project physically, mentally or financially, I will welcome all assistance. Please be in touch.


Products to enhance your life:

Addictions: For organizations to help in overcoming an addiction or support thereafter, click here and then click therapy or support under the title to the right. Psychotherapy: Since I am not a licensed practitioner of psychotherapy, my book is the most I am allowed to do in this regard. Should you suspect a need, a web search should produce names and addresses of licensed practitioners. Click on the topic of interest: Exercise, Massage, Love, Food/cholesterol

Enhance your loving encounters
Here are links to sources for products that may contribute to your enjoyment of sex:
SSP: Something Sexy Planet offers a range of erotic products. To reach them,
click here for

list still under construction; more to be added

The equipment I own was found by visiting a store selling sports equipment and supplies.
A quick search for equipment on line yielded:
ICON Health & Fitness, Logan UT
Fitness Club Warehouse, LosAngeles, CA
Nautilus, Inc., Vancouver, WA

I put together a massage table with vinyl covering over 2" thick plastic foam. I use as a massage oil a couple drops of jasmine essential oil (for fragrance) in coconut oil (because I was told it is the least staining of available oils). Coconut oil should be available from your local grocer; good jasmine is frightfully expensive and I haven't found a good source since my original supply, bought over 20 years ago, ran out.
A quick search on line produced:
ProMed Products, Alpharetta, GA
Massage Warehouse, Bolingbrook, IL
Sunset Park Massage Supplies, Tampa, FL

I have done little searching since publication of my book. I share your frustration that advertising is the most readily available information and I will add information (under new informtion, above) as it becomes known to me.

Your BACK button will return you to the link to this page.